Ironman Coeur D Alene 2010 Report – Part 1 / What Kona means to me

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it just shadowed you everywhere? You just couldn’t shake it. Everything reminded you of it.

I couldn't shake how badly I have wanted to go to Ironman Hawaii. It haunted me. The H word was not even spoken in my house for fear of jinxing but rather referred to as the "special place”. When I would see the word Kona or Hawaii I would have a flash of how bad I wanted to qualify and I would quickly re-direct myself so as not to bring up bad feelings. As a kid I dreamed of being like Mark Allen and Pauli Kiuru (look him up if you don't know who he is - SIZU). After many years of doing shorter triathlons I began racing Ironmans in 2005. The last 5 years of ironman racing were littered with many disappointments and failed Kona attempts that came close to breaking my spirit. Why do I want this so bad? Kona is the only real world championship in our sport. It is the most competitive triathlon in the world. All other world championships in our sport do not even come close to the depth and quality of athletes that race on the big island. I wanted it bad. When people would ask, “oh have you raced Hawaii?” “Oh my cousin, brother, sister races it every year…” – you might as well stick a spear right through my heart. It is mind blowing how difficult it is to get to Kona.


In 2008 after having to walk half the marathon at Ironman Lake Placid (due to an injury), I was so upset I was ready to quit the sport. 2007 had been a DNF at LP. The morning after LP 2008 when I woke up next to Lindsay and looked in her eyes and saw how deeply upset she was, she was crying and couldn't believe how all the hard work I had done could just get washed away in the blink of an eye. Seeing her cry like this made a deep imprint on me and a motivation to succeed like I had never felt before. I wanted this for us. She wanted me to get there as much as I wanted to get there and this meant the world to me, I wanted us to get there. Most people don't realize how hard ironman training is on the spouse of the iron athlete. It is simply ridiculous. Our sport is very selfish there is no denying that - but it is a necessary evil to do well. Ironman racing requires a great deal of very difficult and time consuming training.

The last half mile of ironman CDA was just one of the most overwhelmingly emotional, satisfying and exhausted moments I've ever experienced. I started crying in the final stretch as I pumped my fists in personal victory. I knew I had gone as fast as I could on the day and the tears were in recognition of all I sacrificed to reach this one moment- all the times I had to miss out on hanging with family to train, missed out on beers with friends, and missed out on late night concerts. Once across the line I could hardly walk or stand up- they brought me to the med tent area where I proceeded to cry harder than I can remember. All the hard work, all the sacrifices I made to reach this moment. I did it. I just kept saying I did it. The volunteer at the med tent asked if I wanted to use her phone to call anyone. I immediately called Lindsay. We did it babe. We did it.